Tag Archives: geek

She’s A Femme Fatale

I think it’s pretty clear by the name of my blog that I have a fascination with femme fatales, probably because they’re about as far from my own personality as one could possibly get. I’ve always fantasized about being this cold-hearted seductress, all sexy and mysterious; not klutzy and awkward, with a habit of over sharing in very public forums such as a blog…

She’s cool, she’s calm, she’s collected…she probably doesn’t have ketchup on her shirt.

Mata_Hari_15

I love the idea of this Mata Hari-esque woman. This seductress who breaks hearts and gets what she wants. It didn’t exactly end well for Mata Hari, but she had a good run and she went down in history as the quintessential femme fatale.

Naturally, I enjoy representations of femme fatales in film, literature and music. Women like Eva Green* are bringing back the ideals of the classic, film noir femme fatale. Type “femme fatale” into Google Images and she’s among the first women who pop up. In real life she may actually be a fairly shy, private person, but on screen she can seduce whole audiences with just one look.

Eva-Green-22

There’s a comic that I need to get around to reading called Fatale. It’s a supernatural noir style comic centered around an immortal femme fatale character being hunted by a Lovecraftian cult, what’s not to love?!

Fatale_001_Cover_by_Sean_Phillips

Probably my favorite femme fatale representation in media is the song of the same name by Nico and The Velvet Underground. It appeals to my folksy-flower child sensibilities while also singing about my favorite female archetype. As an avid stalker of Neil Gaiman on Facebook, I was delighted when he shared a video by two French singers doing an absolutely gorgeous cover of the song.

From what I can decipher with my high school French, these two were on the French version of The Voice, and I believe the guy won. Either way, they are adorable and I would buy an entire album of them singing. Watch the whole video. The end is so cute!

*I have a small obsession with the stunning French actress.

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Because Feminism That’s Why

For a change I’m way behind the times but oh well…

I watched Hermione Granger give her HeForShe speech at the UN a while back and found it very interesting. Beyond just being pleased to see Emma Watson grow to be such an eloquent young woman, it’s always good when people use their notoriety for a cause. Some people have found fault with the HeForShe initiative and criticized it for not having a clear plan but you have to appreciate that it’s a start and hopefully, as it gains momentum, the steps involved will become more clear.

I didn’t always consider myself a feminist but I didn’t always know what the word really meant. I thought being a feminist meant you had to carry signs and protest gender iniquity. I thought you had to be a ballbusting, tough woman and I just never considered myself one of those. It wasn’t until I was older that I learned that feminism has less to do with being angry, and more to do with understanding. It’s all about choice. It’s about believing that women have as much of a right to choose who they want to be as men do. You don’t have to be a high powered, no-nonsense, executive woman to be a feminist. You just have to believe that you have as much right as anyone else to do the things you want to do.

wonder woman

I’m never going to be a CEO, but I’m also probably never going to be a stay at home mom. I haven’t protested against rape or women earning less than me, but I also don’t agree that women should be barefoot and pregnant, chained to the stove. I choose to be me. Me is more reserved in my beliefs and feelings. I have my opinions but I keep them to myself. For the most part.

How do I show I’m a feminist, you ask? I wear my Wonder Woman underoos when I have my period. Because feminism.

underoos

http://www.heforshe.org/

Donate, don’t donate. I don’t really care. But however you choose to express yourself, you be you, fiercely.

 

Also, FUCK totally sexist superhero shirts! Read this too: “Superheroes Make Shitty Husbands!”

 

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Because No One Asked Me Anyway

Lately I’ve seen people post all over the internet their top 10 books. Normally I don’t care what’s trending or whether anyone asks me to participate, which they don’t typically (one positive of being a hermit I guess), but this is one I’d be interested in.

I was relieved that none of my close friends did the ice bucket challenge or thought to challenge me to it. If they had, I would have dumped mud on my head for Crohn’s and Colitis and no one wants to think too hard about “why mud?” (You’re thinking about it now, aren’t you?!)

So since no one’s asked me, but I feel like doing it anyway, here are my 10 most influential books in my life.

In mostly no particular order (kinda):

10. Catherine Called BirdyKaren Cushman. I read this in probably the 4th or 5th grade. It was the first “real” book I remember reading. By real I mean, more than 20 pages and a book I picked out all on my own like a big girl.

9. Alice In Wonderland And Through The Looking Glass, Lewis Carol. I was a manic-pixie-dream-girl in the making way before it was cool.

alice

8. The Once And Future King, T. H. White. I saw Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan reading it in X-Men 2 and was curious. It took me an entire summer and then some to read but so worth it.

7. The Rescue ArtistEdward Dolnick. I didn’t have a lot in common with my grandma other than looks and not being a morning person. One thing we shared though was a love of art and reading. She sent me this book in the mail because she thought I’d like it. Now that she’s gone, I try to read art/capers to hold on to that memory.

6. Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, Judy Barrett. My absolute favorite book as a kid! It’s still on my bookshelf and in absolute pieces from being read so many times. I refuse to see the movie because I don’t appreciate Hollywood shitting all over my childhood.

5. Of Human Bondage, Somerset Maugham. I read this book freshman year of college. I hated almost every minute of it.  It is the only book I have ever yelled at.

4. Dune, Frank Herbert. This is the first true scifi book I ever read. While I still lean more towards fantasy and trashy vampires, I like to think this book started me on my nerdy path.

3. Bossypants, Tina Fey. Do I really need to explain this one? Liz Lemon is my spirit animal.

lemon-selffive

2. Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman. Really everything by him. I absolutely adore Neil Gaiman. He is my favorite author. Last summer I got to meet him briefly at a book signing and I completely fanigirled out when he signed my copy of Ocean At The End Of The Lane with a little love heart!

1. The She-Hulk Diaries, Marta Acosta. Come on this couldn’t not be #1! This book has influenced my life in the best way possible. Last night I received an incredible email from Marta Acosta herself saying how much she liked this blog and what I am doing! I was so touched. I got a little misty and had to reread it 7 or 8 more times to make sure it was real. Words cannot express how much I appreciate what all her book has done for me and how touched I was by her email.

I CAN DO ANYTHING!

I CAN DO ANYTHING!

So what have been the 10 most influential books in your life? And don’t say Harry Potter!

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I’m Just Gonna Leave This Here

In case anyone is stumped on what to get me for Hanukkah…

she hulk underroos

Or just because you want to get me something. I’m a big fan of “just because” presents. I think they’re even better than birthday/holiday gifts. It’s something unexpected and thoughtful that someone gives you just because they saw it and thought of you, knew it would make you happy, and know you’d do the same for them.

Give someone a “just because” gift sometime. You never know when someone needs a little something to cheer them up. I love giving gifts any time of year. It makes me happy to see other people happy. Do something good and give a little gift to someone you love just because. That love will come back to you.

Do it!

Do it now!

Seriously, why haven’t you done it yet?!

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D-Day

Or how I learned to love the bomb…wait…

I’ve been dreading this day, the nervous anticipation of finally sharing what I’ve been striving for the last two months with family and friends.

It started out as a hair brained idea I got from reading a dumb little book but it’s grown into so much more. She-Hulk has become my new hero, along side Tina Fey and, well really only Tina Fey, but still! In the last two months I’ve tried more new things than I did probably all last year. I’ve been busting my ass to make some positive changes and while they are small and often hard to find, I have made them. I’m becoming my own hero! The person I want to be when I grow up! A third inspirational thing!

lemon-greatestnews

I have plans every Tuesday now. Doctor Who’s Day has become something I look forward to all week long. I get  to watch one of my favorite shows in the company of other nerds who are becoming friends!

I’m reconnecting with old friends as well as making new ones. I had an awesome four hour lunch with Ellis Tesla and I hope to see him again, maybe even for Doctor Who’s Day one of these weeks. I talk more to friends like Gretchen and Isabel, two great ladies who I hope to continue to see more of.

Turns out I’m awesome at making up pseudonyms for people I want to keep anonymous.

I had an amazing birthday! Regardless of how I felt at times during the day, it was wonderful.

I did a cleanse of crap in my life and online. I cleaned out things from my ex, even making a little cash by selling things he gave me. I’ve resisted to urge to talk to him even though I still miss the douche bag. I cleared out my closet and book shelf, making room for bigger and better things. I purged my Facebook of people I no longer speak to, people I’ve reached out to in a time of need and was ignored, people I just kind of hate…And I was rewarded by hearing from people I never knew cared. I reached out my support and they gave it right back, just the way you’re supposed to!

Turns out I make AMAZING jam! Stay tuned for recipes in the future.

I’m taking important steps to figure out what I’m doing with my life. I’m figuring my shit out at my own pace and that’s okay.

I’m going to start trying to sell prints of my work. This goal makes me especially nervous but very excited at the same time. If I can find an outlet for my creativity that actually made me money I will be over the moon happy!

I successfully navigated the quagmire that is the health insurance marketplace. I have coverage and I am paying for it all on my own! This is a level of independence I have never had before and while I am nervous about paying things on time and figuring out what’s covered and what’s not, I’m still making payments and filling prescriptions like a BOSS.

Probably the most important achievement to me personally is that I’ve been a supportive sister and daughter to my family in what has been, for lack of a better term, a fuck ass couple months. As long as I can remember, I’ve been the one in the family with the issues. Always the sick one, out of work, quitting grad school, and having an emotional breakdown. The last few months have been really hard on my family and while I’ve struggled along side them, I haven’t completely isolated myself or took my own pain and frustration out on them. I’m not very good about sharing what’s going on with my siblings, but I’ve been making a conscious effort to be more present lately, especially to my sister RejRej. We’re two extremely different people but no matter what we’re sisters and when she had a health scare this month I am proud to say I have been there to listen to her problems and cheer her up. Now, mind you, I am extremely jealous that she got to see Garfunkel and Oates and Hannah Hart of My Drunk Kitchen all in the same month, I’m still happy she’s getting to do things to raise her spirits. I hope she feels better soon and I hope this is a new chapter in our relationship.

Alright, enough of this heartfelt, inspirational nonsense. Let’s all just sit in peace and eat a sandwich, or in this case…tacos!

 

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Back To The Future!

Again, apologies for not posting more the last few weeks. It’s been rough being out of work, broke, and feeling so sick.

But I digress…(I’ve always wanted to say that!)

delorean

Recently, in a mostly joking way I made a post on Facebook to the affect (effect?) of “Wanted: awkward nerd girl seeks similar boy for cuddling in blanket forts and back rubs. Smokers need not apply.”

Most of the time my Facebook posts go unnoticed. I don’t make a habit of posting long, emotional, political pleas. I am usually pretty guarded with things of an emotional nature and I make a point of avoiding politics and philosophy at all costs in any situation but especially on the internet.

Color me surprised when I got a whole bunch of likes and comments, particularly from an old crush, lets call him Ellis Tesla for She-Hulk’s Sake.

I had a bit of a crush on this guy in high school and we were both teased by a certain AP history teacher that we’d be a cute couple. I did like him but he had a girlfriend and was way too cool for me. For reference sake, I’m Crispin Glover and he was Marty McFly/Calvin Klein.

If my dating life had an expression, this would be it.

If my dating life had an expression, this would be it.

Like most people, we lost touch after graduation and only occasionally spoke via Facebook so imagine my surprise when he played along with my sort-of-joking-kind-of-not-really post about looking for a date. Remembering my She-Hulk, our main character finally gets to be with her long-time, rock star crush, Ellis Tesla. Well, I’ve known this guy a long time. I did have a crush on him. He was in band…For all intents and purposes I am enacting my own little slice of fiction.

So I took the chance and gave him my number on the pretense of “catching up.” We’ll meet up, chat, maybe shit talk some people we went to school with and see who we still talk to. It should be…interesting…I have no clue if this is a date or not. There was some pretty solid flirty texting going on last night but that could just be me reading waaaaay too much into things for a change. I could really use some advice from Doc Brown here!

Whether it’s a date or not I am counting it as a win for my resolutions. I am reconnecting with an old friend which counts but I also haven’t seen him in like 8 years so I’m counting it as a new person as well.

This whole experience is really making me take a look down memory lane. How much have I changed? How much have I not changed? What would my crushes think of me now? What would my friends think of me now? Would we even be friends now if we hadn’t met in high school?

Considering when Ellis Tesla knew me I wore pj pants to school, I’m pretty confident the 26 year old me is a vast improvement over me at 17.

I'm ready for my date!

I’m ready for my date!

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The Hell Router?!

I haven’t been able to post for the last few days due to a dead router. The thing was probably older than me. I’m pretty sure the cave paintings of Lascaux depict primitive man angrily throwing it out for a new one.

cave painting

Due to overall laziness and a decent smartphone I waited a day or two before bothering to go buy a new one and then another day before I got around to installing it. We’ve established, I’m lazy. Moving on.

I spent an hour trying to get the little bitch to work. The manual reads like stereo instructions and calling India for help just made things worse.

Feeling overwhelmed and possessing a strong desire to throw the expensive piece of shit out the window I decided to walk away from it for the day; come back tomorrow with fresh eyes and some Xanax. Needless to say that didn’t happen.

What do we do when shit gets hard? When something doesn’t work? When we lose a ring? CALL MOM!!!!

Now this meant waiting for her to get back in town but when you’re as useless as me it’s no trouble at all. More than wanting her to make it work I wanted validation that I had tried everything possible and the little bastard just wouldn’t work. I don’t know as much about computers as her but I can follow directions, even when Ikea printed them.

Not only did she magically fix it but apparently all she had to do was turn the damn computer on! Apparently my mom is the Disney Princess of electronics and they just do her bidding while singing and dressing her for the ball…

If she’s the princess then I guess that makes me the ugly stepsister or at least the not entirely un-comely dysfunctional child.

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Bruce Banner Ain’t Got Nothin’ On Me

Okay, we’ve established that I have a LOT of free time. Last night I decided to spend some of that time playing on the fashionably enviable site Polyvore creating a wardrobe for She-Hulk. Because I can.

One of the many aspects I like about She-Hulk, specifically in The She-Hulk Diaries, is how she finds a way to balance her multiple lives and alter egos. Jennifer Walters is a shy lawyer while She-Hulk is the hero of Manhattan when the Avengers are busy doing other things. She’s tough and strong of course but she’s also brave in the face of danger, saving the world from Dr. Doom time and time again. Last but not least is everyone’s favorite party girl, Shulky. She loves to have a good time and isn’t shy about what she wants unlike Jennifer. A little loose, a little trashy, Shulky knows how to have a good time.

Clearly I have nothing better to do with my time. Clearly…

polyvore she hulk

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Bookworms Need Love Too

Just a short post this time I promise.

I wanted to give a shout out to a dating site I came across that I wish was a bigger thing. It’s called alikewise.com. It’s a dating site for book lovers. You can list your favorite books and search by a favorite book or author and see what people like the same.

It’s considerably less stalkerish than okcupid and its free so major points for that. I wish more people knew about this site and used it. I think it’s a great concept. What better way to break the ice with someone than casually discussing your favorite books.

I’ve been on the site for about a week and haven’t gotten a single message. It’s such a nice idea I wish more people were active on it. Oh well, points for trying.

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Queen of the Nerds

So Saturday I paid way too much to sit in a bar in Scottsdale to feel inadequate. Keeping with my resolutions (which are basically the only reason I do anything anymore) I signed up for speed dating through meetup.com.

50 points to me. With this I closed out the week at about 300. Not too shabs.

The night wasn’t a total disaster and it got me out of the house for a couple hours but lets just say the selection of men to choose from were not aligned with my tastes. There was a wide range of “gentlemen” ranging from potential serial killer to so boring I wanted to gnaw my own hand off just to have something to do in the 5 minutes I had to sit there with them!

Where was? Ah yes, queen of the nerds.

I know I’m dorkier than the average girl. I never learned how to put on makeup, I like comics, I can name all the Ninja Turtles and their colors, and if I were ever the type of girl to have a “hall-pass” it would be for Kevin Smith not Channing Tatum. That being said, I though “geek culture” was widely accepted in mainstream society now? It was my understanding that with people like Robert Downey Jr. and Benedict Cumbercuddles staring in major films it was acceptable to let your freak flag fly and not hide what you’re a fan of?

Apparently not.

The main question people started out with at speed dating was “have you ever done anything like this before?” Why yes, I have. At comicon. It was a blast and even though I didn’t meet any guys it was fun getting to talk to a bunch of fellow nerds looking for love just like me. At this event, however, I can’t even remember how many times I had to explain what comicon was.

If I have to explain what comicon is to one more person I’m gonna punch them in the throat!

I couldn’t believe that so many people had no idea what comicon was. Almost as many people there who didn’t read, or like movies or watch TV…Fucking unbelievable!

To sum up my speed dating experience in Scottsdale; I walked away hangry with one match from a guy who called me Amy from Big Bang Theory. I didn’t know whether to be offended or not. I like Big Bang Theory. It’s an okay show. And I have respect for Mayim Bialik. She’s smart, Jewish, and survived being a child actor. Still. Before I even opened my mouth this guy was calling me Amy.

He was ok. Doubt I’ll hear from him but whatever. I was much happier going home to put on my Doctor Who slippers and my She-Hulk shirt, declaring myself Queen of the Nerds!

I have to have faith that somewhere out there is the nerd for me. Mutant and proud!

she hulk selfie

 

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