Tag Archives: Doctor Who

D-Day

Or how I learned to love the bomb…wait…

I’ve been dreading this day, the nervous anticipation of finally sharing what I’ve been striving for the last two months with family and friends.

It started out as a hair brained idea I got from reading a dumb little book but it’s grown into so much more. She-Hulk has become my new hero, along side Tina Fey and, well really only Tina Fey, but still! In the last two months I’ve tried more new things than I did probably all last year. I’ve been busting my ass to make some positive changes and while they are small and often hard to find, I have made them. I’m becoming my own hero! The person I want to be when I grow up! A third inspirational thing!

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I have plans every Tuesday now. Doctor Who’s Day has become something I look forward to all week long. I get  to watch one of my favorite shows in the company of other nerds who are becoming friends!

I’m reconnecting with old friends as well as making new ones. I had an awesome four hour lunch with Ellis Tesla and I hope to see him again, maybe even for Doctor Who’s Day one of these weeks. I talk more to friends like Gretchen and Isabel, two great ladies who I hope to continue to see more of.

Turns out I’m awesome at making up pseudonyms for people I want to keep anonymous.

I had an amazing birthday! Regardless of how I felt at times during the day, it was wonderful.

I did a cleanse of crap in my life and online. I cleaned out things from my ex, even making a little cash by selling things he gave me. I’ve resisted to urge to talk to him even though I still miss the douche bag. I cleared out my closet and book shelf, making room for bigger and better things. I purged my Facebook of people I no longer speak to, people I’ve reached out to in a time of need and was ignored, people I just kind of hate…And I was rewarded by hearing from people I never knew cared. I reached out my support and they gave it right back, just the way you’re supposed to!

Turns out I make AMAZING jam! Stay tuned for recipes in the future.

I’m taking important steps to figure out what I’m doing with my life. I’m figuring my shit out at my own pace and that’s okay.

I’m going to start trying to sell prints of my work. This goal makes me especially nervous but very excited at the same time. If I can find an outlet for my creativity that actually made me money I will be over the moon happy!

I successfully navigated the quagmire that is the health insurance marketplace. I have coverage and I am paying for it all on my own! This is a level of independence I have never had before and while I am nervous about paying things on time and figuring out what’s covered and what’s not, I’m still making payments and filling prescriptions like a BOSS.

Probably the most important achievement to me personally is that I’ve been a supportive sister and daughter to my family in what has been, for lack of a better term, a fuck ass couple months. As long as I can remember, I’ve been the one in the family with the issues. Always the sick one, out of work, quitting grad school, and having an emotional breakdown. The last few months have been really hard on my family and while I’ve struggled along side them, I haven’t completely isolated myself or took my own pain and frustration out on them. I’m not very good about sharing what’s going on with my siblings, but I’ve been making a conscious effort to be more present lately, especially to my sister RejRej. We’re two extremely different people but no matter what we’re sisters and when she had a health scare this month I am proud to say I have been there to listen to her problems and cheer her up. Now, mind you, I am extremely jealous that she got to see Garfunkel and Oates and Hannah Hart of My Drunk Kitchen all in the same month, I’m still happy she’s getting to do things to raise her spirits. I hope she feels better soon and I hope this is a new chapter in our relationship.

Alright, enough of this heartfelt, inspirational nonsense. Let’s all just sit in peace and eat a sandwich, or in this case…tacos!

 

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Golden Year And Golden Showers…Wait…Scratch That

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Yesterday I turned 26 on July 26th which is pretty fucking cool. For those not cool enough to know, when you turn the same age as the day you are born it’s called your “golden year.”

I’ve been looking forward to my “golden year” since  I turned 25! I’ve never been a huge fan of my birthday but the last few years I’ve tried my best to make it a good day, something to look forward to. It’s not been an easy road.

I’ve taken to saying “life is hard and full of disappointments, that’s why man created birthdays.” And it’s true. Growing up I hated my birthday. Too many disappointing days with too few friends and parents forgetting to call…but we’ll talk about my daddy issues later…I’ve never had a surprised party and I missed my chance for birthday sex the one time I had a boyfriend during my birthday.

I don’t get particularly hung up on being a year older or depressed about my age. My birthday disappointments are purely social, material, and sclfish. I always wanted that surprise party and I’m still hopeful that someday maybe I’ll get one. And that day I’ll get every amazing gift I never knew I wanted and the man of my dreams with sweep me off my feet and it’ll be one of the best days of my life…a girl can dream…

Dreams aside, this year my birthday was a pretty good day. Or couple days actually as time was divided up between parents out of town, seeing friends, and big dinners.

The actual day started off pretty slow and lonesome. I was close to giving up on the day entirely. I started to get down on myself and assumed no one would show up. Thank Glob I didn’t give up and call the whole thing off. It turned out to be a great evening filled with friends, food, games, gifts, and a TARDIS pinata.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I love my friends. I don’t have many but the ones I do have are pretty amazing people. They spent their Saturday night making me feel loved and I’m truly grateful to them for that.

For a kid who grew up so alone and hating her birthday, I couldn’t have asked for a better night. I mean I could have but I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

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Anxiety and Adipose

There are things I am incredibly nerdy about and I like to consider myself an “equal opportunity nerd,” with the exception of video games, tabletop games, LARPing, most horror, manga, and all things anime, and the gender inequity of cosplay…But I’m totally equal opportunity…

Doctor Who is my main nerdy vice, well, that and She-Hulk of course.

Anyway…

Continuing with my resolutions, I am trying to get out more and meet new people. I only have about 4 friends (that’s being generours) and they’re all married or in long term relationships that don’t require a 3rd wheel. I thought one simple way to get out more was going to my local comic store for what they call Doctor Who-sday.

I had only tried going once before with my ex who made my social anxiety look like child’s play compared to his. I remember convincing him to go only to have him breeze through the store and immediately back out. I was disappointed. I thought it looked like fun but left because I have low self-esteem I let him and his lack of social graces dictate most of our activities. Whateves, not like I sat through the ENTIRE Walking Dead series and creepy Korean mind fuck movies for him (I’m talking to you Oldboy!!!)…

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So months after my first attempt I decided to return. I would be my imaginary charming self and make a ton of new friends and flirt and get hit on all while watching my favorite show…Well I did get to watch my favorite show…and I think I got hit on by the guy across from me who decided to bring up Mengele and took my paper away to see what I was drawing…

Still…50 points to me for being social, I guess…

Captain Politically Correct was the only person I talked to there. The majority of other people were young attractive nerd couples and families. Most the people there seemed to know each other and socialized but as a new comer I didn’t feel all that welcomed, I mean aside from little Eichmann. Not one to invade an attractive pair of nerds nor really one for kids I kept to myself and got out of there as soon as I could.

I was a little disappointed after my 2nd Doctor Who-sday experience but at least I went. At least I took the chance to see what it was all about. I love Gotham Comics for reasons I’ll go into another time so I will definitely try again. I just may sit somewhere else.

 

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