As long as I can remember I’ve loved art. My mom says that even as a little kid I had a grasp of color beyond my years. She tells the story of asking me what colors some of the flowers in our garden were. Apparently when asked about the pretty pink flower I said something to the effect (affect?) of “its pink but there’s also blue, and fuchsia, and has some green.”
So I was a little know it all from the start. Not that surprising.
Point being, I have always liked color. Mixing paint colors remains to this day one of my favorite activities. Something about swirling different colors together, making an entirely new shade, maybe one that no ones seen before, it’s very zen for me.
I’ve always painted and drawn. I was lucky enough to have parents encourage me to get messy and be creative. They bought me endless art supplies, and would sign me up for classes at the community arts center. When I was little I wanted to be like Picasso. I wanted to be rich and famous and have people praise my work. I wanted to be this cool bohemian girl with paint under her nails and splattered on her party dress. I wanted to be the toast of Paris…
At the rate I’m going Van Gogh might be more accurate…
Being an “artist” is tough. There’s not a lot of money and you have to have a thick skin to take the criticism. I don’t consider myself an artist. I am far too sensitive. I get emotionally attached to my paintings and typically only paint when I am in a heightened emotional state. I don’t want to have to explain myself or my inspiration. I am afraid of being rejected or misunderstood. I don’t want people laughing at something I poured my heart and soul into. And bottom line I’m just not that good.
My paintings look like the “my kid could paint that” crap. Other people have said to me that I’m not that bad and have even gone so far as to say they like some of my pieces but I’m always skeptical.
Coming into the home stretch of this bizarre experiment I need one final push, so I’m taking the chance. I’ve solicited help from other artist friends for recommendations on getting high quality photos so I can sell prints. Who knows, maybe I’ll open an Etsy shop where everyone will rate me highly and I’ll be the toast of Mesa!
In the meantime, anyone who wants to check out some of my paintings can go to my online portfolio. Please keep any criticism to yourself. It’s hard enough trying to share this side of me.