Okay for anyone who was either too young for the 90s or just has shit taste in music the title is from Garbage’s song “When I Grow Up.” Awesome song. Made even more awesome after hearing it on Warehouse 13. Admittedly I fall into the “too young” category to have truly appreciated Garbage at their height but I like to think I have pretty good taste in music and while the 90s were horrible for fashion it did spawn some pretty phenomenal music.
It’s a song I sing to myself when I need reassurance that someday I’ll be ok. One of these days, with the help of my resolutions, I’ll figure my shit out. Get a real job. Get a boyfriend. Grow up.
NewVillager’s “Lighthouse,” and Tom Waits’ “Hold On” have a similar effect (affect?) on me. I’m the youngest in a family of overachievers. I need a lot of reassurance. Sue me.
This need for reassurance was driven home yesterday by an extremely thoughtful gift and my own fucked up brain chemistry. Next week is my birthday. I’ll be turning 26 on the 26th which is pretty fucking awesome, but more on my golden year later.
My sainted mom, who will be out of town for my bday, wanted to celebrate this weekend and gave me an incredible illustration tablet for me to use while doing graphic design.
I couldn’t believe it. The thing is huge and must have cost a fortune. I was so overwhelmed I cried. I am so excited to use it but I feel like it also put the pressure on me. There are so many things I have wasted so much time and money on only to quit. Countless clubs, classes, and jobs, stained glass, grad school…The list goes on way longer than I’m proud of and she’s stood by me through every failure, every quit job, every cut and run. Graphic design can’t be another thing that I give up on the second it gets hard.
My mom is the kind of amazing parent who supports her kids no matter what. No matter how much trouble we got in (let’s be honest we didn’t get in that much) she’s always been there, especially for me. I’m the black sheep of my family and even at almost 26, where I’m still struggling to find my place in the world, she’s never given up on me.
She gave me this amazing gift free of condition or expectation but I feel like I have to prove that it’s not going to be just another wasted investment like the week and a half I was in Speech and Debate in high school. I want to show her I can follow through on something. I can grow up and get my shit together.
Check out my new toy!
This gift is all the more motivation to stick to my goals. I’m accountable for a very nice piece of professional equipment. It damn well better be put to good use. You can look forward to many doodles attempted on my new toy as I learn to use it. Lucky you!
She may have insisted on celebrating my birthday a week early but her’s is TODAY and I’m gonna do my damnedest to make it the best 65th birthday ever. No one is more deserving of an amazing birthday and I love love love her with all my heart.
Filed under Blog, Design, Life